foundation of a child's emotional development

 Emotions are what help us derive meaning from the world around us. Without them, we would experience life with the vibrancy of reading a technical manual on transmission repair. While our emotions—whether good or bad—provide a lot of the excitement in life, there’s still a lot about them that we don’t know.

Researchers have been studying emotions for decades and there are still plenty of questions left unanswered. That said, we know that emotional development is key to living a healthy life. So what can be done to help facilitate this emotional growth in young children? We asked parents, psychologists and educators to tell us everything they know about this process, including caregiver tips for each stage.

Every child is unique and develops a little differently, but overall, there are three major steps to building a well-equipped, emotional toolbox—and they don’t just happen. They involve practice and support from those who understand how important emotional intelligence really is.

3 Major emotional stages in childhood development

Take a closer look at three critical stages of emotional development so you can be equipped to help support the children you care for.

1. Noticing emotions: Birth to one

There are a lot of different theories about how emotions develop and function. Some think we are born with only three emotions: happiness, anger and fear. Others believe that babies are capable of feeling a much wider range from birth. It’s impossible to know for sure when they can’t tell us, but through crying and cooing, babies certainly communicate something. At this stage, an infant is discovering the world—good things like cuddles, bad things like full diapers. They are noticing how everything makes them feel.

How to foster growth in this stage

Create a safe, consistent environment. This is the launch pad from which children can feel confident enough to explore and express themselves. When they know that you will be there for them, they are more likely to take the risks necessary for development.

Adina Mahalli, family care specialist from Maple Holistics, believes that to create this environment, fostering healthy relationships is first and foremost.

“Children are born with the need and desire to connect with those around them,” Mahalli says. “When caregivers establish positive relationships with children during the early years, children feel safe and secure, laying the foundation for healthy social and emotional development.”

Encourage self-soothing. Though some are quick to discourage behaviors like thumb sucking, this helps children soothe themselves and is the first step to regulating emotion. It can be difficult not to step in and fix the issue, but if you want a child to be able to manage their emotions later on, it is important to let them figure some things out on their own. 

Show your emotion. No matter what stage, children mirror their caregivers. By matching a child’s facial expressions and vocalizing your feelings, you can help a child notice both their emotions and yours. This will also help you practice being an emotional role model.

Kate Tunstall, creator of the lifestyle and parenting site The Less-Refined Mind, argues that these small actions can have a significant impact. “The single biggest influence on the behavior of children of any age is how we as parents respond to big emotions. Our kids will emulate us, so the most critical way to help them regulate their emotions and responses is to model desirable behaviors ourselves.”